Need
by Lady Notorious
Summary: Prequel to 'Closed Doors', don't need to read it before. Lucien Potter has always showed little emotion to everyone out of his family, but later, he spreads this lack of emotion to his family. What made him decide to become emotionless? This is the story.


A/N: This is just a one shot as a prequel to 'Closed Doors'. I originally wrote that one first, but realized it wasn't really a story without something before it. So here it is!

She was dead. How could she be dead? He asked himself this question hundreds of times within that day. How could the one person he depended on have died? She had left them alone; to fend for themselves in the world her husband had helped to create. A world of war and no leader to control the movements of the soldiers.

He sat down on his bed, looking up at the picture on his nightstand of his parents on their wedding day. His father had been looking lovingly at his wife with his green eyes and she was laying her face against his chest. She wasn't wearing a wedding gown nor was he wearing anything formal. Their wedding had been a spur of the moment thing, something they needed to do before that certain battle, just in case one of them died. Lucky for them, nothing did. Or rather, lucky for their offspring.

Or perhaps, even, it had been unlucky for their offspring, the brunette thought as he tore his eyes away from the picture. Had they needed to create him, his twin, and his younger sister? Why had they been brought into this world of horror? Everyone they cared about was dead or would die soon. And today the person who he had cared about the most had died, the redhead in the picture he had just been looking at.

Ginevra Weasley Potter had been the one who Lucien Potter could always turn to. When he had been younger, she comforted him; now, she had prepared him for the war. But not she was gone, who was going to comfort and prepare him now? Lawrence? No… As much as he loved his twin, he was a joker and it was something Lucien had always envied his fiery twin for being able to laugh in such a life filled with war and loss. But then again, Lawrence had always been like that, even as a child.

Could Jenna comfort him? No… She would need comfort herself. She was the only girl and her mother had always been there for her. She was the one who told her she was a beauty, a light in the world when there was little beauty. Jenna was only fourteen; he was only fifteen for that matter. But he had aged past his years since he was seven and first realized he lived in the midst of war. Jenna too could be no comfort to him and yet, he knew he couldn't comfort her either and she needed comfort.

He could not give his siblings comfort when they needed it, for he was the one who also needed comforting. But that was one thing he would be forever denied. So he would do what he had been doing for years, or rather, what he had started doing years ago. He had always been dark, brooding, and silent in public. But now he would take it to a new level; he would do it in private too. He would take it to a new level where he didn't even know how to feel anymore.

That was the only way for Lucien Potter to be rid of the need for comfort from any person, a comfort he would never receive. For the person who could comfort him was dead. And he hadn't been able to save her.

He should have been able to; he was Harry Potter's eldest son after all! His father had saved the world from the worst Dark Wizard the world had ever seen; he had been so powerful. But he hadn't been able to save himself, or the world that came to be as a result of his battle with the dark wizard, Voldemort. But if his father hadn't been powerful enough to kill Voldemort, the world would be much worse than it was today, at least Lucien was thankful for that. But he should still be powerful enough to stop one woman, his mother for dying.

He couldn't forgive himself for letting her go that night. She had wanted to go to her husband's grave; it had been the anniversary of his death. Now it was the anniversary of her death as well. The remaining Death Eaters had expected her, Lucien now realized. How else could there have been so many of them there? So many of them, able to overpower Ginny Potter, to torture her and to then only after hours, stab her to bleed to death. How had Lucien known this? Because he had arrived, just in time to see her bleeding to death and hear her final words.

"_Lucien…" _

"_Don't speak mother, just save your strength. I'll save you."_

"_Don't do anything stupid, Lucien. Take care of Lawrence and Jenna. Lawrence may not act like it, but he is very fragile. And Jenna deserves better than this life of war; she deserves to learn not only spells that will save her in war but the true meaning of magic and its beauty. Help her. Take care of them."_

"_Mother, shh… Save your strength while I save you." Lucien glanced around trying to see if there was anyone near. There wasn't. He tried to pick her up but found she winced in pain as she did. _

"_Let me die, Lucien," Ginny Potter said. "I've been slowly dying since the day your father died. Let me meet him in heaven."_

"_But what about-?"_

"_Your siblings will hold up. It is you I worry about. Luce, Lucien, my Lucien, my eldest don't-don't try… Don't try to-" But Lucien would never know what his mother had been trying to tell him not to do. For she died in his arms._

He winced as he recalled the memory, still fresh in his mind, less than twenty-four hours old. He wished he had been able to comfort her. To save her. He should have been able to! She had said it was her wish, but didn't she love her children to try and survive? To survive to comfort them after small battles in this big war?

Lucien shook his head at his own thoughts in response and realized he had understood this before, when he had made his decision, even before recalling the memory of her dying in his arms.

He not only couldn't comfort his siblings, nor they him, but the true reason he had decided to become emotionless was because he was stone cold, frozen from the betrayal of his mother who had left him alone, not realizing just how much he needed her. How he needed the comfort that nobody could give him.

He stood up from his bed; his face blank and his eyes were emotionless as he walked out of the room to go prepare for another day of war.

A/N: I hope you like it! I really like Lucien, Lawrence, and Jenna, but if you want to hear Lawrence's story, I'll need reviews! I only got one for 'Closed Doors' and that was from a close friend. No offense Dani, but I knew you'd give a review like that anyway! I want reviews! I want flames! I want to know what people think! Because if people want more but don't tell me, there won't be more. The only reason there's more of this is because I had started writing it right after I posted 'Closed Doors'. That's the truth.

Lady Notorious


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